OK, so my blog followers probably won’t get the title unless you grew up in the UK…
So, right after my team won the Team Pursuit last Sunday I noticed I had a shadow in the form of a USADA chaperone… “Hello Sir, I’m here to take your pee!”. Knowing that this was a good possibility of this situation I hadn’t pee’d since arriving at the track and had been drinking fluids since my arrival. I had this one nailed. My USADA chaperone took me up to the area that they had set up for collecting said urine samples but man… That pee just wasn’t flowing. Commence gatorade / water consumption!… I drank, and drank, and drank… And had flashbacks to being tested at the Meadowbank Velodrome in Edinburgh Scotland the one time that I got 3rd place in the pursuit as a junior (A day of slow riding and slow peeing!).
Athletes came and went but my pee just wasn’t going! The very patient “collector” even tried some phone app that played the sound of flowing water. No dice! After almost 1.5hrs we went for a walk around the upper perimeter of the velodrome then back to the bathroom where I was now ready to pee like a race horse! Forms all filled out. Visual check of my urine to make sure that I’m not too diluted and bam, I was finally done and almost the last person to leave the velodrome. I’ve got to say, the USADA folks were VERY patient and professional… Thanks!
The remainder of the day was spent checking out of our hotel late (for an additional fee), rushing to meet my wife’s friend she hadn’t seen for 4 years (2.5hrs late, and only for 10 minutes) before having to make a mad dash to the airport. Enroute to rental car return, the copious amounts of fluids that I had consumed in the hope of performing for USADA were now hitting my bladder… HARD! On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being “I need to pee NOW”, I was at 15! I attempted to use the bathroom at a gas station but the line was 3 deep and too slow. The ride from Avis back to the terminal at LAX was painful and I was the closest I’ve ever been from pissing myself. Finally getting to a bathroom in LAX was follows by a huge sigh of relief and a 10min flow of urine.